Soft Golden Cloud of Leaves

Pennsylvania's Amish Countryside, Nov 12:

The leaves were still soft, vibrant, freshly fallen. I sat down a minute, on a golden cloud on a golden afternoon.

What a gorgeous ever-changing palette of colours our God plays with! He's the Creator who robes the dawn in red, devises a snow-laden storehouse in the sky, sets the boundaries of the sea, and unimaginably more... (as Job 38 reveals). Yet He so intimately "bends down and listens" to our prayers. (Psalm 116:2)

How can anyone dread Heaven, thinking it'll be boring for eternity? One of my English professors thought so, preferring the clash and conflict of this world. That's a pale, distorted image of the true adventure we desire in the deepest part of our hearts, which partially explains the appeal of heroic fantasies like Lord of the Rings and Narnia. As Sam realises one night in LOTR, there is "light and high beauty" that will eternally outlast the momentary troubles of the world.

Update, Feb 26, 2007: My dear friend Makiko presented me with the book Heaven by Randy Alcorn. It portrays Heaven as a place of vibrance, new beginnings and creativity — certainly not a colorless afterlife. The book inspires me to live fully in the light of Heaven. To me this means to live life to the utmost with purpose and delight, to worship God faithfully and passionately, and to love people in the fleeting days that we have.

Thanksgiving 2005

Fallen leaves swirling skyward,

A wild dance, mimicking life.

Light draining, early and indifferent,

From this city I never embraced.

The absence of all of you,

Trails --

A pearly vapour

Suffusing Thanksgiving.

Our stories disconnect,

Yet persist, suggest

Marvellous light,

Not our own, divine.

I decided to spend Thanksgiving Day in solitude and prayer, away from the celebratory hubbub that always delighted me. I longed to step into a new season of walking in God's marvellous light, and glimpse (or see with eyes of faith) the outlines of a path out from my long transition. I missed my absent best friends with whom I'd celebrated Thanksgiving and served God in our church-plant these amazing years till last December.

I believe my prayer is being answered in the heavenlies. Meanwhile, one overnight fruit (yes, 24 hrs!) of my quiet day was this poem. I'd not written for such a long time, and I thank Jinsook who sweetly, insistently, unabashedly reminded me to write, week after week. She must be one of those people who know how to knock on Heaven's door. : )

I really want to write again. Not indulgently like in my college years, but maybe to flip open a few more windows in this vast online space to God's glory.